


How to Care for Your Spain

by AlexanderRyan



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Funny, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 10:47:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3566831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexanderRyan/pseuds/AlexanderRyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A guide written and published by Romano Italia. Strong (basically obvious) hints to Spamano.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Care for Your Spain

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea while talking to some friends. It was posted on my Romano RP account on tumblr (bacimamimolto) and I decided to post it here. Enjoy.

A Spain can be a very good addition to your household, if you know how to properly care for one. It took me years to figure this out, and thus, I have decided to develop a guide to help any other Spain caretakers who may be having troubles with their Spain. Use this information with caution and feel free to write to me if you have found something more about the care of a Spain.

Concerning the Spain's diet, it shall consist of churros and tomatoes. Make sure he is well fed, for he can slip underweight very easily. Homecooked meals, I have found, are the best way to assure that your Spain will finish his meals. Make sure the ingredients are fresh; his taste buds are a lot more acute than you may think at first.

Your Spain can be very vocal. If he starts complaining or whining, put him outside for a minute. Make sure to lock the door and all windows; your Spain will find a way back inside if you are not careful and quick. He will whine and complain and beg to be let in, but you can only do so when he starts sulking and has quieted. At this time, you will most likely find him either at your front or back door, in a curled up position. I regret to inform you that no matter what, you will always feel guilty enough to let him back in.

Don't worry; this does not ruin your relationship with the Spain. He will instead learn from his mistakes (until next week) and thank you profusely for your 'change of heart'.

Do not lose your temper with your Spain. It is alright to become annoyed or irritated, but do not verbally abuse - and most certainly never raise a hand to your Spain. While your Spain is very forgiving and will love unconditionally, it will take some alternative bonding methods to earn your Spain's trust back entirely. As for annoyance and irritation, take caution with showing these to your Spain. He will either cry, or he will call you cute for reddened cheeks and a so-called 'pout'. Or worse, he will do both.

Your Spain, unfortunately, will begin to aggravate if he is inside for too long. As I mentioned, he is very vocal. A good way to release some of this energy is to take him out for walks. Do so often, and do not return home until you feel he has completely calmed. (A good way to do this would be to take him with you while shopping. Not only do you have someone to carry your groceries and bags, but he will be tired from the exertion and want nothing more than to lounge around upon your arrival back home.)

Another excellent way to exercise your Spain would be to play Spanish music. He will start dancing immediately, and might even sing along. (Just try to ignore his voice when he does so. Spains are known to have very pleasing voices, so make sure that you are distracted by other activities, such as listening to a separate music player, or talking on the phone.) His dancing will closely resemble the mating dance (explained later) but do not be confused. If you venture too close while the music is still playing, you will be swept up into the dance with your Spain. By then, it will already be too late and you will be forced to dance with him.

It is crucial that you do not reject this dance. Not only is it a great bonding tactic to reassure your Spain that you do not take him for granted, but if you reject him, he will whine and complain. If rejection still occurs after that point, there will be a pout. If you give in, do not fret; I have not yet heard of a single instance where a Spain caretaker has denied the pout. You are not alone.

Outside of dancing, your Spain will wiggle his butt and hum often. I will be the first to tell you that it is very distracting, and at times, aggravating. Do not worry; this is entirely normal for a Spain. This is what's known as his mating dance. Just let him wiggle it out; he will be okay.

On the topic of keeping your Spain occupied, make sure to keep plenty of romance novels on hand. I have observed that Spanish romance novels are the best way to approach this. If you manage to distract him with this, your Spain will be quiet for a few hours. If you do not have any romance novels, your Spain will be very unhappy, for he will not be able to find anything to do while simply lounging, such as after his walks.

Your Spain requires a nap every day. Make sure to accommodate your schedule accordingly. The alternative to this would be to force him to nap when you do. A good way to do this is to just throw away your pride and curl up with your Spain. Even if you are angry or irritated - whether it be at him or outside factors - it will be the surefire way to calm your Spain. In due time, he will fall asleep and you will be rewarded yourself with your own personal heater.

As a general warning, your Spain may be weak at times. This is because of his physical health and weak immune system. It is a common occurrence, given the Spain's homeland. Just let him rest. Make sure to feed him soup at this time, and lie with him when necessary. He will be grateful for your care and company. Do not worry too much for your Spain; he will be better in due time. Spains are known to be very strong.

Speaking of strong, do not try to wrestle your Spain. He will win. If he does not, he is letting you take the advantage and will expect more out of the play. Do not fall for it unless you are absolutely sure you can handle the consequences for your actions.

Your Spain can be very mischievous, whether it be verbally or physically. (If you are ticklish, make sure to hide this, at all costs.) Be sure to act accordingly. Keep a spray bottle on hand for when he misbehaves.

And lastly, your Spain will see you just as important to him as he is to you. Do not neglect your Spain, for he has feelings as well. He is not as stupid as he seems, and needs to be treated with care. Your Spain can be an excellent life-long companion, if treated properly. Take care of your Spain, and he will return the favour.

Good luck, Romanos. Your Spains count on you.


End file.
